Injuries, Fouls, Weak Shooting - and none of the above by Christian!
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
MINCE 9
TATTIES 13
The mighty Mince strode out at six thirty, looked at their ranks, and thought, 'Can we possibly lose with six men on our side?' George then announced that his choice of dark blue shirt was, in fact, white and that he was, unfortunately, a Tattie player.
Young George, with two caps now on his mantelpiece, again did his team proud and twinkle-toed his way round the court. At times he resembled a fully wound-up Duracell bunny, and at others he resembled a fully wound-up Duracell bunny stuck in the corner with nowhere to go, surrounded by Mince players long of limb and hairy of face. It was a battle of grace against determination; of jinks versus victorious aspirations.
The game began at a canter and the Tatties quickly built a three goal lead courtesy of a cannon off Si's shin and Stuart's backtracking knee, and then the game went down a notch. Clearly the Tatt thought the game was theirs and tried some fancy moves. Clearly the Tatt are incapable of fancy moves. Clearly they have a lot to learn about the aforementioned Mince mentality.
With Neil's goalkeeping, Stuart's lay-offs, Christian's giant engine again running on enthusiasm, Craig's small but brick wall stature, and Luke's stepovers and lack of defensive frailties, they gelled well for the second third of the match and brought the game level thanks to a coolly-slotted penalty from the focussed Neil. We would make more of George's 'freestyle' goalkeeping in creating this opportunity were in not for Iain's 'header' down in the Mince half: surrounded by stripes, he calmly picked up the bouncing ball with both hands, dusted it off, and threw it goalward in a vain attempt at a 'cross'. What a cheat. What a guy.
This colander-like loss of goal difference seemed to wake the Tatt up and, with the Doctor directing the play, George jinking, Iain sublimely passing, Si running, and Tom wearing a smashing new Brazil top, they got back in the game.
The pace quickened. The pulses raced. The tackles flew.
'I'm gonnae get your ribs!' declared Si with a nod to Neil's absence last week. 'And my ankles too' retorted the wee pianist: it is a sad day but Si took over Christian's mantle of chief hacker. He is apologetic.
But victorious. The game was grasped by the neck as Foxy restored the lead with a calm and collected nutmeg through the 'keeper's legs. This was enough to win the game as the entourage of the half past seven mob turfed us off shortly before another Mince comeback.
Man of the Match - Christian
Fair and strong in the challenge. Good awareness of his team mates to lay the ball off. Even a few goals. A reformed character!
Player ratings
Mince
Christian - 9
The best display all season. Charged everything down, didn't foul, set up some rather than shoot. Deserved MOTM.
Neil - 7
Good in goal and determined outfield. Good passing, linked up well with Stuart in particular. Ankle injury seemed to have debilitating effect though.
Stuart - 8
A terrific display. Strong, quick of foot, excellent vision. Very nearly man of the match.
Craig - 8
A few fouls but made up for them with a grin and a 'sorry bud'. Stalwart in defence and showed good skill going forward.
Luke - 7
Again jinky, again f**king difficult to shake off. Would be eight if he was a bit more physical.
Tatties
Tom - 7
Scored a belter into the corner towards the end of the match but his quote on the way home sums it up: 'Next week Si, I think I'm going to work on my enthusiasm'.
Iain - 8
Full of running, and didn't fall over. Sent some smashing balls through for the strikers. Did well to ponce out the way of Si's thunderbolt sclaff.
Si - 7
A bit dirty; poor show. Scored a couple though, and set up one or two.
Foxy - 8
A player/manager of Souness proportions. Kept the team going, and again managed to bounce the ball over the bar with his head. Two weeks in a row.
George - 8
Excellent use of camouflage to distract the opposition, and used his textbook of jinks well. Scored some great goals, and a good bet for MOTM.