What a crap new ball.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
MINCE 4
TATTIES 10
What was expected to be a closely conteseted game turned into a rout for the Tatties as Luke leapt to the top of the rankings.
And he did this with a display of heroism not seen since a wee chap called David took on a big bad man called Goliath. With the game still (relatively) tight he flung his face in front of a trademark Marty thunderbolt. As his glasses went spinning through the air in a million pieces the ball rebounded to safety, and he had prevented a certain goal.
None of this, however, can possibly be enough to secure him a decent player rating for the match. Whilst turning up 10 minutes late is unforgivable (and always met with lots of snidey looks and mutterings under the breath), to compound this by wearing a pink shirt is beyond reason.
To focus all attention on his shirt would divert attention away from another riveting encounter. So, owing to the result, that is exactly what I'll do. Honestly - it wasn't even a nice looking pink shirt. I propose we use the kitty to get Luke a nice dark shirt. Even if we all just buy him a Sweden top or something. The pink thing certainly distracted me last night and, along with Marty's hair band, Iain's orange socks, Tam's red boots, my green shorts and Si's Robinson Crusoe look, is now a contender for the 'Fashion Faux Pas of the Season' Award.
Needless to say, the delay caused by Luke disupted us Mincies totally. Whilst waiting for him to arrive we played some great stuff in the warm up game. Tom scored twice, one of which can only be described as a wonder goal (bit of artistic license there, although it was a decent strike), I nutmegged Christiano, and we generally looked a decent team. Then Luke decided to turn up, and we fell apart with alarming haste.
Within a few minutes of Lukes arrival Si coolly clipped the ball past me to make it 3-0. In all the weeks we've been playing no team has managed to come back from a start like this. This week was no different. Despite a couple of Marty thunderbolts to bring the score to 3-2, we never managed to get back level.
Si had became little more than a blur as he weaved here, there and everywhere. Christian was at his poaching best and fired home a few raspers. Alan was the rock in defence - King Midas attempting to win back his crown.
In the midst of Tattie domination we Mincies had a chance to pull a goal back when Iain ran through. Summing up our performance though, his rasping shot beat the keeper, hit the underside of the bar, bounced on the line, and came out. Any hope we had of a dramatic comeback ended there.
By the end of the game the Tatties had perfected the art of the counter attack. While we pressed to get an opening back into the game the inspired goalkeeping of Christian, combined with the lightening breaks of Si and Neil, led to us being picked off at the back whenever we lost possession.
Full time saw another major change in the league table. Whilst Luke is now enjoying looking down on us, Neil is enjoying looking down on Craig and Tom - who sunk to the bottom of the table with yet another defeat. He has now taken over the 'Jonah' role, whilst Neil has doubled his victory tally in the last two weeks, and is looking at breaking into the top 6.
Man of the Match - Si
Si's inspirational performance wins him another Man of the Match award although, in truth, all of the Tatties contended for this award. Si's constant running, his cool finishing and encouragement of team mates get him the nod.
Goal of the Match - Craig
Craig's late consolation strike gets the nod here ahead of Si's cool finish. His mazy dribble was expertly depatched the unbeatable Christiano. Unfortunately it was too little, too late.
Miss of the Match - Si
Just to contradict all my other comments about him, Mr Coolness slotted the ball past the post when presented with virtually an open goal during one of the Tattie breakaways. He also missed a one on one against Tom, which is pretty bad (especially after having beaten me in the same situation).
Save of the Match - Christiano
The Man with the Expandable Legs made a great save from a Marty thunderbolt. If he keeps this up Creeky might get a reputation as a damn good goalkeeper.
Player ratings
Mince
Me - 5
Tragically, I failed to score this week. I had about 3 shots on goal, all from miles out. Didn't really do anything at all during the game. That big brute called Alan kept tackling me.
Marty - 8
Marty deserved better from his team mates this week. He scored a few belters and was the only one of us who caused the tatties problems.
Craig - 7
Craig had a lot of neat moments, crowned with a wonder strike late on. However that was the only time his trickery managed to get the better of the Tattie defense.
Iain - 6
Received a nasty whack from that brute Alan, although it was already about 9-2 at the time. Made a miraculous recovery and had shaken off his broken ankle within seconds. His touch was obviously off as, when attempting to punt the ball back to a neighbouring pitch, he bolted it onto the pitch next door from where it took one bounce, ascended, and landed on one of the wee pitches at the back. As Si said (honestly I didn't just copy and paste that from the forum) "this man managed to hit a tractor trailer from distance??"
Tom - 5
Fresh of his Man of the Match award from last week the Bam's world crashed apart last night. He gave a much improved goalkeeping performance, but failed to get the ball in any dangerous positions when outfield.
Tatties
Si - 9
Si was Si. Full of running, goals and inspiration to his team. Was the leader in a true team effort.
Christiano - 9
Grudgingly I have to admit that Inspector Gadget had a good game. His robotic legs managed to stretch out and stop many certain goals, and he scored a few belters (poaching git that he is).
Alan - 9
The King was the rock at the centre of the Tatties defense. Returning to the form of his two month unbeaten run earlier in the season, he did not allow anything to pass him or, if it did, maimed it as it went by.
Neil - 8
At full time the smug grin on Neils face said it all - two wins in a row, storming up the table. He is Jonah no more. His breaking forward with Si and Christian contributed greatly to the Mincies downfall.
Luke - 6
Luke flies to the top of the rankings, although the only thing that saved him from a 2 rating was his bravery in blocking Martys shot. Being late and wearing pink are big no-nos in the ratings department. Doesn't say much for the rest of us though - we are being beaten by a blind, asmathic, colourblid, punctually challenged man.
Iain's attempted kick back to the other park disturbed some when it finally landed.