Mincemen Keep 100% Record!
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
MINCE 20
TATTIES 14
The MinceMen kept up their 100% record as they scraped victory in yet another stormy encounter in front of a capacity crowd of three.
Both teams were crippled with injury and suspensions. Alan and Neil were suspended after an incident in last week's game in which Alan claims that Neil "head-butted my shoulder". Despite claims to the contrary from Neil both were suspended - and sent on holiday together to try and make up.
Marty was also absent - although rumors persisted throughout the evening that he was not injured and was spotted at the Livingston v Rangers game. Tattie bosses refused to comment on the allegations.
Iain was definitely injured. He twisted his knee at the weekend whilst playing in the park with his friends and was unable to recover in time. Unfortunately he had a hard time coming to terms with this fact...
With Michael R drafted in to make his second start of the season, and Stuart brought in as well both teams were forced to play a man short. As we got changed beforehand, Iain worryingly came up to me and Tom. Clearly panicking, he babbled about there being an extra player: "There's nine here" he worriedly exclaimed in bewilderment. It was left to Tom and me to gently break the news to him that he wasn't playing. I'm afraid to say it, but poor Iain wasn't wholly successful in fighting back the tears.
Speaking of tears, I have spent a lot of the time since the match fighting them back myself. The reason for this was the horrific injury I suffered after about 20 minutes of the match. As I heroically stretched to get the ball, I stood on Michael R's foot. This caused my knee to twist, and my body to fly through the air, perform a triple pike, and land in a heap on the astroturf. It was bloody sore (although worse last night after I had sat down for a while).
Being the warrior that I am, I played on. And even made a few saves shortly after (notable because it's been weeks since I saved a shot). I also have to say that I liked the new goalkeeper rule, which was introduced after a heated debate prior to the game. In the end Tom stamped his foot and got his way - and goalies were allowed out of the box. The first casualty of this rule was Luke, which was bizarre as he wasn't in goals at the time. Craig lost possession for the tatties, and Luke raced clear towards the empty net. As we all waited for him to tap the ball home, he nonchalantly stroked his shot past the post.
Luke was also involved in a bizarre pitch invasion early on in the match. A group of wee boys made their way across the pitch, causing Luke to go berserk. He chased after them, and returned a few minutes later with his shirt ripped, and blood all over his knuckles.
Blood was also coming from Christian's knee, probably because he kneed someone, as opposed to burning himself on the astrofturf. That someone was probably Craig. After the game Si claimed that "there were fewer screams of pain yesterday from the dark team" but I would have to dispute that. By the end of the game Craig's eyes simply widened with fear whenever Christian game galloping towards him.
Actually, (I'm rambling here) I must admit to a hideous feeling of guilt over some of the injuries Craig got yesterday. It is a curious feeling when you play a pass to him, and see that Christian has set off towards him to make a "tackle". I feel very responsible that it was my passes which often led to Craig lying in a heap by the boards. Sorry Craig.
Back to the game and Si was sprinting here, there and everywhere. Michael R was playing well (he was fit too, the bounder!). Us Tatties actually had the audacity to take the lead and looked like we might win for a while. Christian was showing his usual lack of composure whenever the ball came near (some good kick outs Creeky, they really kept us Tatties in the game!).
As time ticked away the scores were tied at 14-14. The less said about injury time the better. Suffice to say it went from being 14-14 to 20-14 in about four minutes. By this stage I had pretty much stopped moving, Tom's radar like positional sense had left him, Stuart was probably wondering how he got himself into such a team of misfits, and Craig was lying in a heap having been upended by Christian. It was pretty much him and Stu (as Tom refers to him) on their own.
Another victory for the Mincemen but eyes are already turning towards next week and the Return of the King!!!!!! (That's Alan by the way, in case anyone has forgotten him already)
Man of the Match - Michael R
It might have been Si but he got it last week. The fact that he voted for me confirmed the fact that he is a knowledgeable guy (he was the first one to mention me as MOTM in the five weeks I've been doing this!!!), and he was thoroughly deserving of the award. Some good goals, good defending and he was quite fit too.
Goal of the Match - Si
It had to be Si's strike after being set up by a stunning back heel from me. It was a shame for him that it was an OG.
Miss of the Match - Luke
Sitter of the season from the Lukester
Save of the Match - Christian
I'm going to be controversial here. Despite Craig's heroics in denying Si, Christiano gets it for being the only person I know who can save a shot and shoot with the same touch.
Injury of the Match - Me!
Tom's knee? Christian's knees?? Michael R's toe??? None could possibly have been as sore as my career threatening knee injury!
Player ratings
Mince
Luke - 7
He demoralised the opposition by arriving on time for once. Instead of being a man up for the first ten minutes we had to start on an even level which ultimately cost us the game.
Si - 8
Si Man produces again with another super fit performance. Eight goals, umpteen assists - he probably would have been man of the match if Michael R hadn't chosen me as man of the match.
Christiano - 7
The big man kept up his record of injuring at least one person per match with an early assault on Craig. Scored the crucial goal to put the Mince ahead for the final time.
Michael R - 8
Despite lacking in match fitness he produced a stunning display. Got man of the match despite making an incredible mess of one of my thunderbolt shots.
Tatties
Tom - 7
Did a decent man marking job on Michael R. Scored a good goal but would do better if he TOOK HIS TIME!!!!
Me - 7
I started off well with some silky moves, but faded out of the game. Did I mention that I got injured???
Craig - 7
Craig is playing well these days (not that I'm suggesting he was ever not playing well). Despite Christian's attempts to cripple him he battled bravely for the whole game, and scored another smashing goal.
Stuart - 7
Like Michael R coming in from the cold, and he produced a solid display with some fine goals.
TEH INJURIES!
Tom and Creeky's scabby knees! (you work out which is which!)